How To Get Over Crushes

 It hurts, doesn't it?

As wonderful love can feel, it can turn out to be an unwanted feeling for some people. Love can be a difficult (and distracting) obstacle, getting in the way of a person’s priorities, family, and even friendship. In today’s post, I will be sharing different methods on how one can get over their crushes.

I took the liberty of talking to some friends on this matter, who have gladly shared some of their best methods (that work!) with me, as well as doing a little bit of research and thinking about the subject myself. So without further delay, here's the first step.

Before all else, admit it. 

Obviously, not to the person in mind. By doing so, you will not only stop being confused with your feelings, but you will also save yourself from the 'Romeo and Juliet syndrome', where you might just start fantasizing about forbidden love - making your crush all the more attractive.

Get real. Realize that it's not love. 

Well, I'm 99% sure it isn't, to be exact. There is a large difference between infatuation and love, but they sure are difficult to tell apart once you're struck, all the more when you're a teenager. If you're an adolescent, realize that what you're feeling could merely be an amplified version of what your emotions actually are (yes, blame it on those blasted hormones). 

An interesting article I've read has also pointed out that "infatuation is love of emotion; love is love of devotion". According to the article, infatuation is mostly biological, and usually based off physical attraction and aided by the mind's delusional fantasies. Infatuation is also selfish, and that it is more interested in satisfying yourself than the other person. On the other hand, love is selfless, and is more interested in satisfying the other person more than yourself. Another intriguing point is that love grows when you and the other person are apart, but infatuation dies away. There's something to think about.

Here's one way you can test if you're in love or not.

1. Close your eyes and imagine yourself kissing your crush. Did you just wrinkle your nose or do anything else that might indicate a degree of disgust or embarrassment? Then it is possible that you probably admire this person, but you're not willing to sleep next to him or her. 

2. If you can imagine yourself doing this, picture you taking this person somewhere you're highly respected by your friends or other people. If you feel embarrassed, then you're probably lusting after this person, and not feeling any real love at all. 

3. Now imagine yourself getting married with this person. If you start laughing or at least think that it's odd or funny, then it's definitely an infatuation. 

Ask yourself these questions often so that you won't get the wrong idea of what you're feeling.

Things you can do to help yourself. 

  1. Focus on something else. It could be your hobbies, your studies, or even a television series. As long as it takes your mind off your crush. This is great because it channels all that energy into something more productive than fantasizing your life away. It will also distract you and slowly, your infatuation will die away.
  2. When you think about your crush, focus on his or her negative traits. Don't do this if you want to maintain a friendship with this person, because you may just start hating this person instead!
  3. I wouldn't recommend this, but some of my friends actually try to fall for someone else. Sure, it will help for a while, but once your feelings grow stronger for that person, you'll have to try falling for another person, and another one, and another one....
  4. Whenever you remember the good times you had with that person, convince yourself that it wasn't all that great by recalling the great times you've had with other people.
  5. Avoid thinking about them. It's as simple as that. Instead you could always think of other things, like how absolutely charming and witty I am .
  6. If you do start thinking about him or her, think about how devastated you would be if you two broke up.
  7. Meet new people or talk to your friends! Interacting with others takes your mind off crushing easily!
  8. Don't rush it. You can always spend time with that person, and slowly you'll realize the person's negative traits and you may not feel the same way about that person anymore.
  9. Or, you could also try keeping a distance away from that person and not talk to them, if not much, at all. I wouldn't recommend this though, because the other person might not like that.
  10. Don't act mean towards them! Please, guys, you're supposed to be getting over your crush, not make the person hate you!
  11. Do something new and exciting, like trying out a new kind of food, or catch tadpoles, or go skinny dipping. Okay, don't do that, but you get the point. Step out of your comfort zone and bring some of that extra spice to your life. 
  12. It's okay to cry. Letting out all those unwanted feelings that way does work, and you'll feel better after that.
  13. Take a nap when you're feeling a little too overwhelmed by your emotions. A good rest will clear your mind and set it straight.
  14. Be patient! These things take time, so keep yourself busy with other more productive things. 
If all else fails... 

Confess. The thing about crushes is that you get all the excitement from the unknown, so the moment you tell that particular person how you feel, you're forced back into the real world, and no matter what your crush tells you in response, you'll sober up sooner or later. Oh and a little advice here, don't rush into telling your crush about your feelings to the point it scares them. Take it easy there, those people are, well, people!

Disclaimer: The end result (whether or not you get over a person) does not solely rely on my advice. You have to put in the effort to do so, and that's the only way to go. I am not the Love Guru.


Shufei said...

Thumbs up. :)

ally. said...

HAHAHAHA. Interesting article. :D

Yao Chang said...

Great advice !!! :D

Jill said...

Shufei/Ally/Yao Chang: Thanks guys :)

Yao Chang said...

I like the fact that despite the amount of taboo shrouding this topic, you not only wrote it in a way that interested me and probably most other readers, you actually gave great advice. Never shall I look at you the same again, :D. In a good way obviously. Great Job :)

Jill said...

Thanks again Yao Chang! I'm glad to know that the post has been enjoyable :)

Ly Lee said...

Long post but really cool! =)

Jill said...

Thanks Ly :)

Post a Comment

HostGator promos